München. Schön. Struktur.

Ausblick aus dem zweiten Stock des Coffee Fellows direkt am Hauptbahnhof. Auf der Straße steht ein Mitzwanziger mit überdimensionaler Pfeife vor einem Geschäft für Damenhandtaschen. Er schaut zufrieden. Dann wird er von einem älteren Ehepaar in ziemlich klischeehaftem Bayern-Dress angerempelt. Er schaut verwirrt. „Passt scho’“. Er lacht.

München. Perle des Südens. Du hast mich wieder. Ziemlich entspannt geht es hier zu. Die Menschen laufen langsamer als sonst wo in der Republik. Das könnte aber auch am guten Wetter heute liegen. Aber auch bei Regen sieht die Innenstadt echt nett aus. Ist halt ultra steril. Fast wie ein OP Saal. Aber was soll’s.

München hat aber genug Haken. War ja klar. Die suchen sich ihren Weg allerdings durch die Hintertür: Das Rauchverbot zum Beispiel. Aber auch Ladenschlusszeiten wie aus dem Horrorfilm und die penetrante Abwesenheit von Kiosken und Mülleimern. Komme ich immer noch nicht ganz drauf klar. Damals… als ich eine geschlagene Stunde um das Sendlinger Tor irrte… auf der Suche nach einer Bude, die mir noch zwei Bier als Mitbringsel verkaufen konnte. Die Bürgersteige waren schon hochgeklappt. So weit das Auge reichte: Nichts. Gähnende Leere. Keine Tanke. Kein Kiosk. Das Trauma sitzt tief. „Jetzt wäre Köln nicht schlecht…“, dachte ich mir. Bis dahin waren es 700km. Köln war weit weg.

Von hier ist irgendwie alles „weit weg“. Köln und Berlin zum Beispiel – oder der Flughafen. Zu dem braucht man eine geschlagene Stunde (!) mit der S-Bahn. Jetzt verstehe ich auch den Kollegen Stoiber, der hier dringend einen Transrapid hinklatschen wollte. Ist nix geworden. Jetzt steht er in Shanghai. Da ist der Flughafen näher an der Stadt, kaum ein Chinese kann sich die 7 Euro teure Fahrt leisten und die Alu-Zigarre rast wie eine Geister-Achterbahn durch die Vorstädte. Verrückte Welt.

Zurück nach München. Das Meer ist nämlich auch weit weg. Trotzdem gibt’s ne Surfer Szene. Die Jungs treffen sich am Eisbach auf der stehenden Welle. So einer Art kontrolliertem Wildwasserspaß. Irgendwann ist halt ein intelligenter Münchener auf die Idee gekommen da eine Konstruktion rein zu bauen, damit die Welle immer an derselben Stelle steht. Heute baut der clevere Kerl Digeridoos auf einer Mittelmeerinsel. Zurückgelassen hat er eine eingeschworene Münchener Surfer-Truppe, die so eingeschworen ist, dass sie noch nicht einmal Kelly Slater auf ihr Allerheiligstes lassen. Jack Johnson durfte allerdings hier surfen – vielleicht hat er ein paar Konzertkarten springen lassen… (Doof nur, dass der Eisbach im Moment zu wenig Wasser hat: Keine Surfer da. Dumm gelaufen.)

Manches hier ist sogar so weit Weg, dass es die Bezeichnung „astronomisch“ verdient. Ich denke da so an Bierpreise. Oder noch schlimmer: Die Mieten. 20 Quadratmeter am Arsch der Welt: 600 Euro. Ohne Balkon versteht sich. Nirgendwo sonst in Deutschland passt die Kette wohl so gut: Job –> Geld –> Spaß. Ich arbeite noch dran.

Nein, eigentlich ist das Leben hier ganz entspannt. Man muss es eben nur durchstrukturieren um den ganzen Steinen, die einem die Landesregierung in den Weg legt aus dem Weg zu gehen. Mal eben Einkaufen ist eben nicht. Mal eben ein Bier bestellen auch nicht – zumindest nicht ohne Crash-Kurs in Ur-Bayrisch. Wobei ich jetzt wieder viele „München ist doch total hochdeutsch“-Kommentare gedrückt bekommen werde. Nein! Ich finde München ist NICHT total hochdeutsch. Also bitte! Naja… Passt scho’.

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2.117 Antworten auf München. Schön. Struktur.

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